i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
