Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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