So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Randomize