Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
