I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
