My room smells like vodka and shame
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
