im having a threesome with these popsicles
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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