chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
