he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
