hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
