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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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