kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Also, beer. Big fan.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
