its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Randomize