Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
