I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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