I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
