so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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