she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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