Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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