For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
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