Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize
