you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
