why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
