I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize