And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
