We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Randomize