So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
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