question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
he shaved USA in his pubs
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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