Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
