I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
