We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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