I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
