WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
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