apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
my being single is dangerous.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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