I'm so fucking centered right now
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize
