next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
