i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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