I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
