Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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