The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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