I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
