The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
