who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
