ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
