how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Randomize
