I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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