i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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