ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
