dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
