I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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