I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
