Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
