I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
