get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
