id be glad to
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize