Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
