HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
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