if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
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