You work out of a Hotel?
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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