You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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