absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
