Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
