He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
