Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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