She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
