i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
