so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
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