This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
