Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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