Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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