god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
