Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
