Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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