the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
