I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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