My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
