They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
