we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Randomize
