And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
