Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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