just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
