also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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