Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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