Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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