u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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